Tongue Slap

The newest of Stephanie Meyer’s mormon-sex-fantasy series

– “Twilight” – hit theaters last Thursday.

Breaking Dawn Part I is, in one word, laughable. 

Yeah, yeah I read the books in high school like every other girl in my graduating class. But I understood the absolute ridiculousness of the plot! 

(ex. Taylor Lautner’s character “imprints” on Bella’s baby-girl … His “soul mate” is a baby). 

From the sickeningly long wedding to the painfully awkward honeymoon and on to the vomit inducing pregnancy and birth (not joking about the vomit … half a bag of popcorn and I was ready to make a run for the restroom) this movie was, uhm. well. let’s see. it totally sucked.

Sorry, Twi-hards. I call it how I see it.

Don’t pay to see the movie – I beg you. $6 I wish I had spent on ice-cream and a Redbox movie.

If my review really makes you want to see it (that wasn’t my intention and I apologize) please, wait until it comes out on DVD … rent it… and force someone to watch it with you. Someone you don’t like.

Good luck!

Photos:

1: I just gagged... such an awkward wedding scene!!!

2: Beautiful cast ... terrible actors.

3: Just as awkward in real life as in the movies - I love consistency